Be positive-not passive

Compliment myself

Make new friendships

Be a better aunt/sister/niece

Try something new

After June – my month focused on reflection, I worked out that if I was ever going to be happy, no amount of laughing, connecting, breathing etc was going to be possible without positivity.

For me, there are many components of positivity:
Acting positive
Giving positivity
Modelling how to be positive
Teaching others to be positive
Appreciating positivity
And the foundation to it all – being positive!

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It is important to talk to yourself, as you would to someone you love. In order to to exude positive vibes all round, I knew I first needed to be positive about myself. Otherwise, what’s the point? Everything is a lie otherwise. My health resolution was importantly based around self love. I needed to get this before any others had meaning. I also saw the importance of developing my ability to emulate positivity in my marriage – too often I am passive and unnecessarily negative to my dear kind-hearted husband. I wanted to work on building new friendships and working on my first impressions (people have told me I’m intimidating and hard to read initially). After my social media cleanse in June, I also wanted to work on being more positive about experiences and people in general! Avoid negative comments and correct others carefully while I was at it. My reflections also lead me to a realisation that I’m a shitty aunt (hello negative, insecure thoughts-I see you are still with me!) I also am a creature of habit. I want to be someone who is more positive about trying new things. These goals tied in perfectly with my commandments to ‘love yourself,’ ‘act the way you want to feel,’ and ‘treat others how I want to be treated.’

We don’t grow when things are easy. We grow when we face challenges. I knew July was going to be a tricky month. We were away for 2 weeks of it on our honeymoon in Bali which meant my routine was out of whack. It was also the perfect time to practise! I love a challenge. In keeping with my resolutions that carried on from previous months, I was going to need to find ways to connect with friends and family daily whilst away. I must admit. All through June, I kept wondering whether I should change my resolution to be a better aunt etc as I was going to be away! I wasn’t going to be able to be physically present. But it made me think about how I need to not devise this project in a way that I can only be successful! I would need to think of ways to be a good sister, aunt and niece whilst away!

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This month wasn’t just about the new resolutions, I also had to keep myself in check with my resolutions from May and June. I realised that I needed to harness my commandment to ‘be flexible’ and ‘realistic’ on my holiday. I wasn’t going to be eating to heal, drinking as much water, getting my 8 hours of sleep or my daily yoga fix. But that was okay! I was on my honeymoon. If I was following my commandment to ‘be in the moment, I needed to enjoy the food, the cocktails, the late nights and roll with what Matt wanted to do too. I had a big think about this because although I had every intention to enjoy myself, I needed to set some boundaries as past experiences have shown me that when allowing myself too much freedom. I end up eating too much or eating things that make me sick. Yes indulging is great, but not when the impact lasts for days (breaking my commandment to heal) and impacts on my ability to love myself. The boundaries I set for myself were to enjoy the things I wanted but in moderation.

Enjoy the chocolate – but not in bulk
Savour in the cocktails – but don’t drown in them
Stop eating when you are full and don’t eat for the sake of it
I planned to focus my resolutions to reflect on positively affirming my actions.
Here my ‘eat to heal’ was reframed in a way to heal my negative feelings around food. Those thoughts in my head that tell me I’m going to get fat need to be tamed. I needed to learn how to eat on a holiday and be okay with it. This was the healing I would focus on this month. I’d done it before in South America and kept my body. I needed to remember this. I knew I would have to be positive as I ate differently – I also wanted to steer away from actively and vocally bagging out my food choices and bloated belly. What was done was done. Reflect – sure, but don’t pull Matt into it and put a dampener on our holiday.

July was set to be a month where I really needed to practice seeing positivity as a choice. The happiness of my life really does depend on the quality of my thoughts.


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