24 Aug JULY – Form new friendships
Form new friendships
I find it hilarious that I actually set this resolution as I had reflected in May and June that I already struggled to keep up with all the friends I have! Really the intention behind it was forming better connections with those within my workplace. I am with these people almost everyday and was yet to forge any deep connections as I had just started at a new workplace at the beginning of the year. The only problem with beginning this resolution in July, was that I was off on my honeymoon – and not even at work! So I thought about how the power of this resolution could extend into other aspects of my life, for the rest of my life!!
How you treat others is how you really feel inside. I have been told that upon meeting me, I can be quite intimidating. Apparently…I have a slight resting bitch face…I know that I take a while to warm up to people. But once I’m warm, I might as well curl up on your lap and make myself at home! What I wanted to improve upon was how I engaged with people I first meet. Anyone who takes the time to be kind is beautiful. I know myself, that I think a new person is the bee’s knees if they remember my name, ask me lots of questions (I mean who doesn’t love talking about themselves?), smiles at me and laugh at my jokes! I wanted to be that person! I decided to practise this whilst on holiday. I wanted to give warm hellos to staff in restaurants, bars and hotels. I would be polite if I bumped into people or if they accidently bumped into me. Upon meeting new people – other travellers mostly, I wanted to be warm and engaging. I would make an effort to remember their names, ask them about themselves and laugh loudly at jokes. I wanted to be remembered as ‘that lovely chick we meet in Bali.”
Be the energy you want to attract. From day one, I was at it! I probably looked like I was high on something. Matt probably thought – who is this woman and what has she done with my wife? I set my commandments for a reason and ‘acting how you want to feel’ was working a treat! I felt alive, positive and happy. It is pretty incredible to note the mood change of others when you are happy and friendly. Research shows that when we smile, people are more likely to respond positively to us in that moment. I mindfully treated people with respect. When we met fellow travellers, I tried really hard to remember their names and use them often. I was sure to follow my commandments to ‘ask questions’ and ‘listen.’ The result? I really was watching karma in action. I was giving happiness and getting it back! ‘Treating others how I want to be treated,’ was paying in dividends. I really was a witness to the power of positivity and it felt great!
Be good to people for no reason. Forging deeper connections with colleagues from work was my next goal. I practised all the same conversational techniques and made more of an effort to be present in their days. I worked hard to show an interest in their lives, especially with people I barely knew. I was someone who listened to problems, who affirmed feelings and thoughts and I did my best to offer useful advice. What I learnt about people was fascinating, and gave me topics to revisit later on when I bumped into them again. Perhaps the smallest but most significant thing I did each day was greet people with a warm hello. I was bubbly, excited to see them and always positive. The effect that a warm hello has on a person (especially in the morning) is really gratifying. I like to always remind myself that everyone has something going on in their life. Maybe in some way we are all battling something. By modelling a positive outlook and passing on some kind of positivity and happiness, I was gifting some of my enthusiasm to them.
I started to notice how my relationships with people grew and evolved. I deepened the connections I had already forged and created the foundations for new friendships. Being happy never goes out of style! I began to notice how people lit up when I was around, came to me for chats and opened up to me. Sometimes it takes only one act of kindness and caring to change a person’s life. I loved being that person. This made my days even better as I knew my workplace was a positive place to be.
Your attitude determines your direction and positivity was leading me on a clear path to happiness.